Review: INTO THE WOODS (2014)

What the heck? No, really, what the heck is this crap? I mean, I saw the trailer and everything looked like a potential fun movie and now that I saw it, it´s like this crazy 130 minutes musical with painfully awkward dialogues and if I´m not mistaken, there was no sign of any music in the Trailer.
I mean, now I know that this is the adaptation of a pretty successful broadway musical and I may be a total goof for not having known that before, but I feel like the whole marketing of this movie seemed to try as good as possible to hide the really important fact that there is almost no dialogue in this movie. In a way, i felt lured into the cinema and SO not appreciate that!

Personally, I cant stand any musicals. Like seriously, I loathe them with a passion and I can hardly imagine anything worse than watching a musical from the beginning to the end. I even dislike the short musical clips in THE SIMPSONS and if someone doesn´t like that, they REALLY dont like musicals. So yeah, maybe I am the wrong person to write this review but the fact that I feel like this was dishonest marketing kinda forces me to write this down and warn others of this waste of time.

The set design is beautiful and Merryl Streep is always great. Especially as a witch and with all the awesome cinematography, this would be a great movie for kids. I mean, everything looks like a mix between a comic strip and a Tim Burton Movie and there is nothing wrong with the Aesthetics of this movie. Actually kids would have the time of their life IF the whole plot and the screenplay wouldn´t be EXTREMELY dark. I mean, people are dying left and right and this is TOTALLY not a movie for children. Johnny Depp has a short role as “The Bad Wolf” but kinda comes across like a creepy child molester and I honestly didn´t enjoy his performance here. Everything was so strange that I felt like I was hallucinating over some fever dreams and I was extremely happy when the movie was over. Well, kinda, because I have to admit that I left half an hour early because I just couldnt deal with the singing anymore. And I usually sit through the worst trash movies possible. As long as no one is singing, I am pretty hard to shock but this was just too much.

I am really confused about the marketing of this movie because it is way too dark for kids and it´s not really for adults either. This could be relevant for people who enjoy musicals and I wholeheartedly recommend it for them to check it out; but I was so not the right guy to watch this movie. It´s like the coyote watching a movie about singing Road Runners and all are shouting MEEP MEEP all the time while beating the coyote with a hammer. No, nobody beat me but I still felt pretty roughed up when I was out.

Long story short, i felt betrayed by INTO THE WOODS. The music was the type of stuff that only nightmares are made of and I felt like there was only one song throughout the whole movie. On the plus side is Merryl Streep and the beautiful set design but that´s not enough for me not to rip this tour de force apart.